CASE STUDY · CONSUMER AI
A roast that knows more than it should.
Roastrology is an AI roast engine, live on the web. It reads your natal chart, the sky right now and what is happening where you are — and writes one roast from all of it.
QUICK ANSWER
An AI roast engine that fuses your natal chart, the live sky and real-time signals from where you are into one roast. Built by Vanishing Point on Cloudflare Workers, written by Claude. Live at roastrology.ai, in validation before launch.
THE CHALLENGE
A horoscope is generic. A roast has to be personal.
The joke only lands if it knows you — and on the first visit it knows nothing about you. So it has to read far more than a star sign: your chart, the sky overhead, the weather and the world around you. Then fuse all of it into one voice, fast, every day.
HOW WE BUILT IT
Three sources, one roast.
Each source becomes a set of candidate signals. A scoring pass picks what matters today. A grounded dossier feeds the model, and the page shows which signals the roast used — every line traces back to its source.
THE SYSTEM
Five parts, one product.
-
Roast engineShipped
Your natal chart, the live sky and real-time signals from your location each get a score, and the strongest become one dossier the roast is written from.
-
GenerationShipped
Claude Opus writes the roast in production, through Cloudflare's AI Gateway. Development runs on a local open model.
-
PlatformShipped
One Cloudflare Worker serves the API and the web app, on KV and D1. Every merge to main deploys.
-
FunnelIn progress
Anonymous-first sign-in, a magic-link claim and Stripe checkout are built. Switching payments on is the next step.
-
ValidationNext
The first real readers, and the one test that matters: does a cold roast land hard enough that a stranger screenshots it?
SEE IT LIVE
The night sky, on every screen.
Roastrology opens on the night sky, on desktop, tablet and phone. It runs at roastrology.ai.
Captured on September 28, 2026, from the live site.
WHERE IT STANDS
The engine and the funnel are built and deployed. The product is in validation before launch: the next test is real readers. This study evolves with it.
START
Bring this standard to your business.
It starts with a conversation: tell us the problem in front of you. If we can't help, we tell you.